Season 1 Synopsis

Farthum IV Arc (Episodes 1-3)
Shortly before the events of BroTrip #3, The WarHams crew take the Sword-class frigate Debt Collector, Captian Zedek's ship, to the agri-world of Farthum IV. Under the orders of Minister Moderatum Katje Van Noord, they are to find the previous Officio Ambassadorium delegation and collect food supplies and 1,000 souls for the Vulkan/Corax "BroTrip" Crusade, with the promise of "bonus points" should they also locate a chef for Van Noord's ship. Upon touching down on Farthum IV, they meet some farmers and discover the planet is entirely populated by Ratlings, who direct them to the nearby town of Happy Feastings. After interrogating the mayor of Happy Feastings, a small Ratling child pipes up to announce that the nearby "Grumble Tum-Tum Farm" is under attack by monstrous boar-like creatures known as Geraldines, and that the best BBQ chef in the southern hemisphere resides there. The delegation, realizing this is an opportunity to gain the coveted bonus points, grab the child and have him guide them to the Farm, whereupon they engage and defeat the pack of Geraldines and Geraldinelets, taking the tusk of one and giving it as a trophy to the Ratling child, now renamed Tater Tot. They then make for the planetary capital, and crash their shuttle, and with it their long-range communications. They then sneak themselves, Tater Tot, and Captian Zedek's new Mashed Potato Platoon into the city with the help of a ratling by the name of Belba Creepfoot. Upon entering the city, they quickly discover some ratling nobles living the life of luxury, and an underground complex. Inside this complex they solve the mystery of the previous Oficio Ambassadorium delegation - a preacher from the Adeptus Ministorum, now the very long-legged Divine Lord of Fervor, a chiurgeon, now the Divine Lord of Science, trying to cure the Ratling shortness (with mixed results), a Catachan Guardsman, now the (morbidly obese) Divine Lord of War, and an Enginseer, now deceased and buried outside of town, along with the former delegation's ship and equipment. After respectivley defeating, capturing, and defeating the Divine Lords, they emerge from the complex to discover that the capital is beset by ratling cannibals. They flee towards the remnants of the Divine Lords' ship, and hold off waves of crazed Ratlings while Π-Braine gets the communicator working, Zedek calls in an orbital strike, and shortly thereafter Reeb manages to resurrect the Enginseer (albeit in critical condition). It is then revealed that the ratlings were driven cannibalistic by the psyker Sleigherburgo d'Fuckreby XXIV, the leader of the expedition to the northern hemisphere of Farthum IV in order to make his team look better than team WarHams.

Septic Tank Arc (Episode 4)
En route to Scargaris Prime, Π-Braine starts killing engineering crew and Lorn starts trying to find out who is killing the engineering crew. Zedek calls a meeting of the delegation to go into the septic system of the Debt Collector to find the source of a filthy smell permeating the entire ship. Π-Braine is promoted to Chief of Security, with a condition from Zedek's second-in-command, Lt. Ransum, that he not investigate the senior staff. Along the way, Π-Braine names Belba Creepfoot his "Chef of Security" with a mandate to investigate the senior staff. They then receive a message from the onboard Astropath, informing them that the main body of the crusade has taken a detour to the Ghoul Stars region, as well as a mandate from their astropath to bring him more weaponry. After running into the resident enginseer GaMu-4224, (who immediately starts a rivalry with Π-Braine), the delegation then moves into the septic system, defeats some mutated creepy-crawlies, and clears a large blockage made of disposed bodies, before returning to their quarters.

Scargaris Prime Arc (Episodes 5-8)
Upon arriving in-system, the delegation receive their orders from Minister Van Noord. Scargaris Prime has dropped off the Imperial map for millennia, and the delegation is to establish relations with the planet and determine how they will pay 10,000 years of back-taxes. Upon landing and meeting the planetary governor, they quickly discover the planet is split along religious lines - the white, anemia-worshipping ruling class, and the red, blood-gorging Bloodback group. Π-Braine, recognizing that this planet has Great Crusade-era equipment, whisks the gang down to the underhive, where Lorn establishes relations with the gang known as the "Lower Toads" by claiming they are of the "Upper Toads" gang, and asks for escort to the Crusade-era Mechanicum facility in the underhive. Upon arrival, the delegation finds that the facility is still active, and periodically transmits to a secret outpost on the moon of Scargaris Prime. Taking a shuttle to the moon, the gang discover a servitor that only reacts when asked questions in song, the servitor then provides directions to the outpost's command center. The delegation is soon waylaid by a trap that separates them into soundbooths and plays them all music designed to irritate them. Zedek's booth, however, is busted, and opens onto a corridor occupied by a hostile servitor with advanced sonic technology. Lorn quickly breaks the rest of the group out of their booths, and they engage the servitor with little-to-no avail. They then flee through the base, entering a room containing a "friendly warp creature" by the name of Shawn. Shawn informs them that his room is laced with noise-cancelling technology capable of nullifying the servitor's sonic tech. After using this tech to destroy the servitor, the gang leaves Shawn's cell and make for the control center. They soon discover a hallway filled with bodies uniformed in the manner of the Adeptus Administratum - the prior collectors of imperial tithes, directed here by the nobles of Scargaris Prime and killed by the base's sonic tech. In the control center, along with recordings of the nobles watching the previous delegations be hunted, is a cryo-pod containing a critically injured Space Marine - from the Heresy. After freeing the marine, they learn his name - Captain Kaldaius of the Blood Angels, working under orders from Malcador the Sigillite - and inform him of the myriad developments during his sleep. Promising him revenge, they return to the Debt Collector and engage with Scargaris Prime's orbital defense grid before storming Hive Tzarcanin and taking prisoner the planetary governor. With the arrival of Minister Van Noord, the gang settles the fate of the planet - immediate law enforcement and governance will fall to the Lower Toads, advised both by an advisor from Forge World Anvilus, and by a copy of Captian Zedek's book on etiquette. (Naturally, the book is titled Zedequette.) The planet will then be strip-mined for its resources, and delegations from the Inquisition and the Adeptus Mechanicus will "clean house" and scout the planet for worthiness of being paved over to become either an independent Forge World or a subsidiary of Forge World Anvilus. Finally, Minister Van Noord will be taking custody of Captian Kaldaius so he may be immediately transported to the Primarchs. (!)

Shady Rock Arc (Episodes 8-9)
This settled, the delegation receives their newest assignment - the xenoarcheological outpost on the dead-world of Shady Rock has transmitted an emergency communique asking for assistance with their find. The delegation proceeds there with all haste, and arrive to find that Shady Rock is an ocean world with a single, fog-covered landmass. Upon landing, they find not a dig site, but a settlement hundreds of years old, and make their way to a bar, mysteriously populated with a skittari bartender that serves really good free beer, and patrons that won't say anything but "Times are Great!". Upon some poking around, they find an old woman on the pier who weakly implores them to find "the big fish", and a mysterious Mr. Melkior, who Reeb immediately recognizes as Ordo Xenos Inquisitorial Lord Melkior. The delegation puts them both in the shuttle for safekeeping. They then investigate Town Hall, where the mayor informs them that the settlement has in their collective basements sufficient materiel for 500 years of tithing. The delegation then moves to investigate the dilapidated void-hardened outpost, where they find documentation proving that all the townsfolk were at one point part of the xenoarchological dig, and below the waterline they discover a void-hardened rover containing a dataslate belonging to Sleigherburgo d'Fuckreby XXIV. Taking this rover below the waves, they come upon an underwater air-filled cavern containing various vox-logs belonging to the Magos, and a suspiciously black-and-green structure filled with little bity robot bugs. Deeper in the structure, they find a large pyramid which, when opened, dispenses a small wrought cube containing a very big bity robot bug with a shark fin taped to its back. Defeating the robot bug, the team then discovers that the magos investigating the structure, Rho Hecta, was seemingly betrayed by d'Fuckreby XXIV, who trapped the large bug in the cube before leaving.

The Cursed Episode (Episode 10)
The delegation spend some fitful nights aboard the Debt Collector en route to a rendezvous with Katje van Noord, plagued by nightmares, a warp storm following the ship, and the occasional patricidal beard. They meet, and Π-Braine shares his concerns that the cause of their nightmares is 34R, the skittari bartender from Shady Rock, and his "dream water". Seeking answers, the gang goes to visit the astropath, an old woman who seems to live on a sliding scale from "fatalistic" to "suicidal". She advises them to talk to someone more familiar with the inner societal workings of the ship, which leads the gang to contact the Chef of Security, Belba Creepfoot. Belba briefs them on the tribes that have formed among the crew of the lower decks - the "mystery meat"-avid Beef Kings, the suicidal Prometheum Huffers, and the helpful and/or insurrectionist Ga-Mu's Debuggers - as well as a fourth, secretive group known as the "Servori Fevorum". Belba advises the crew where they can find this fourth group - Cargo Bay #7, recruiting some stowaways - and the delegation goes to meet them. In the cargo bay, the delegation happen upon a few stowaway Bloodbacks, who inform them that the lower deck gangs have actually been fighting over Tater Tot, and offer them some boot-hats so they may proceed into the meeting of the Servori Fervorum unmolested. Much to their suprise, the meeting is taking place inside a chapel, filled to the brim with boot-donning ratlings. After some thought, the gang realizes that this chapel is built into a septic tank. The high priest soon begins preaching, and reveals that, with the lighting of a central brazier and the immolation of an "artifact", their ritual will be completed, and they will all be in "the presence of divinity". Worried the "artifact" is, in fact, Tater Tot, the delegation breaks cover to put a stop the ritual. However, the brazier is lit, and the artifact is revealed to actually be Π-Braine's gold-plated femur from Farthum IV, the immolation of which summons nothing other than the ghost of the Divine Lord of Fervor himself! One brawl and one cameo/curse from Cegorach later, the ghostly Lord is dispersed, the warp storm dissipates, and the chapel, unsupported by the heretical sorcery, is crushed by a flood of sewage.



Mortis Carcerum Arc (Episodes 11 - 14)
The delegation informs Van Noord of d'Fuckreby's betrayal upon Shady Rock, and she tasks them with bringing him - alive - to justice. To this end, they move to the Mortis Carcerum space prison above the gas giant dubbed "The Eye of the Emperor's Ire". Reeb sneaks the gang in pretending to be Artimatter d'Fuckreby, a concerned Necromundan noble looking to warn his cousin of an assassination plot. They meet with Supreme Judge Germann Straborsan, a large fellow in armor, and secure the release of Rho Hecta into their custody. Reeb uses his Inquisitorial authority to enlist the help of Arbitrator McLawdotter, who informs them that the Judge is missing his (literal) family jewels, which he presumes stolen by d'Fuckreby XXIV, and that he only holds his office due to his family history and the jewels' alleged ability to confer incredible luck. The group and their escort take the elevator down to the prison part of the prison, where they see a "Big Chonkus" kill a man with his bare hands, and discover that this sort of thing is allowed and possibly encouraged by the Judge. Moving deeper into the cellblock with McLawdotter as guide / hostage, they are quickly ambushed by a mob of prisoners, with the Judge announcing over vox that his jewels must be returned to him. After defeating the mob, the fleshy Hams are taken down with knockout gas, and Π-Braine is threatened by a colossal magnet which, following a lengthy internal monolouge he manages summon enough strength to escape, fleeing into the ventilation system. After this, we begin to alternate perspectives. Zedek wakes up to find himself in a torture device, being interrogated by Judge Straborsan who is demanding to know where his jewels are. Zedek manages to convince him of his ignorance, and he is escorted down to his cell. Meanwhile, Π-Braine establishes contact with Ga-Mu, who guides him through the vents towards Reeb, who is sharing a cell with both Zedek and Chonkus himself. Chonkus takes the duo down to have lunch together, where they find Π-Braine skulking in the vents. Π-Braine and the gang converse, with Ga-Mu helpfully informing them that Lorn is currently in an anti-psyker containment unit, due to his psychic powers. Reeb & Zedek grill a newbie Arbitrator by the name of Land Hest, trying to determine the status of their possessions and Arbitrator McLawdotter, a move which bears little fruit. Π-Braine elsewhere secures a lasgun, a sword fashioned from a shattered vent cover, and directions to a security command center. Chonkus escorts Reeb and Zedek to the gym, where they encounter "Head Bitch" [sic] Tagadhur, and, shortly, Arbitrator McLawdotter, the latter of which advises them to stick with Chonkus and arranges a meeting with Rho Hecta. On their way down to Rho Hecta, Π-Braine gives Reeb his radium pistol to give to Rho Hecta, who they meet with shortly and compare their notes of Shady Rock. On their way back to their cell, they once again run into Tagadhur, who calls Chonkus a "bottom bitch" and narrowly avoids getting crushed while boasting that he's "just too lucky". In their cell, Chonkus is steaming over Taghadur's comments, and, on the advice of the duo, starts a prison riot just as Π-Braine storms the lower command center and kills / subdues all the guards, broadcasting over the PA system that A) this prison is now a territory of Lemuria under Imperial Law, B) all the prisoners are now part of the Lemurian Penal Legion, and C) said legion is ordered to rendezvous at the lower command center. Pi joins up with the rest of the gang who engages the riot, in particular Taghadur, whose luck fails to save him from having his head turned inside-out by Chonkus. The gang then heads to the lower decks of the prison in search of Lorn, with Chonkus warning them against "the Demon" that lurks in the lower decks. The gang makes their way through blasted corridors to the cell of the Demon, who is revealed to be... Lorn, deadlifting. Lorn is down his psyker powers thanks to a psychic dampening collar, but he has also managed to pack on muscle in the short time he's been down here. It is then revealed to Zedek by one of the prisoners that the elevators have been locked down by the upper levels. After some discussion, they head to the chapel to use their vox and negotiate with the upper levels. The preacher introduces himself as being from Shady Rock, and the gang immediatley sets to interrogating them, but their memories prove foggy. While Π-Braine continues grilling the preacher, the others grab the vox and start negotiating with the upper levels. The person who picks up their call is non other than Arbitrator McLawdotter, and Reeb quickly issues their demands, which are: send the elevator down, tell us where our equipment is, and can we link up with you? The Arbitrator does these things for them, and tells them a bit more about the situation up there—the Judge Straborsan has grabbed a protective detail and barricade himself in his office. Π-Braine continues grilling the preacher, who lets slip that they were formerly in the Mechanicus, and possibly of Lemuria. As Π-Braine pumps him for more information, foreseeing an existential threat, his joints and internals start to lock up. The preacher starts to say a bit more about Shady Rock, confirming that he is of Lemuria, and Shady Rock did not have an ocean when they got there. Π-Braine runs himself through to apply emergency lubrication. McLawdotter's vox call is abruptly cut off from her end, and the gang reconvenes, Π-Braine sharing his thoughts on the matter. Π-Braine insists that the chapel is illusory, and the delegation initially dismiss his concerns, before Rho Hecta appears. Hecta mentions that the preacher is a skittari aspirant who was stationed on Shady Rock, and the gang comes to share Π-Braine's concerns — that d'Fuckreby is not the master, but the puppet. At that moment, the chapel vanishes, revealing that they were in a service closet. The delegation continues talking over their concerns on the elevator up.

[wip]

Following the capture of the Supreme Judge, the group, using Pi for light, run into Trooper Hest, mortally wounded, who gives the delegation some information and directions to where McLawdotter's hiding out. After giving him the Emperor's Peace, Reeb retrieves one of the Splinters from Hest's body and shares all that he knows with the gang. The delegation then makes their way to McLawdotter's redoubt, along the way getting into a firefight with a group of Dark Eldar pirates, and removing an arbitrator (by the name of Monir) from a wall. Inside the hideout, they tend to wounded arbitrators, retrieve their gear, remove Lorn's anti-psyker collar, and enlist the help of the prisoners by promising the person with the highest Dark Eldar killcount an inquisitorial pardon. The patched-up Arbites and the delegation move to the hangar, wherin is contained the Dark Eldar jammer and the shuttle. After a near miss involving Zedek's monologue and an impatient Dark Eldar pirate, they lay into the pirates and their queen Sybarite, with Lorn burning all his muscle mass on a supercharged molten beam that melts the queen's armor, which the gang quickly exploits. After cleaning out the hangar, and capturing a prisoner, they see the Debt Collector moving into position and launching shuttles.